Too early for a child, sex was there when I was only 5.
Images formed by thousands of pixels arousing and piquing my interests.
Unknowingly sharing bodies, I have touched another the same age as me.
A young student — many tangible lessons in human anatomy.

Too early for a child of 8, those too close allowed to get intimate.
A penetration of my soul, an innocuous game I was led to believe.
Too early for a child of 10, a flashing of skin and a dance of flesh before my eyes, I was an unwilling audience to the strip tease.

Sex was always there when I was only 5, haunting and leaving me anxious. My sense of truth distorted by romanticized ideas of love. Trigger, trigger, trigger.

Hungry for both purity and sin.

When a betrayal of my vulnerability occurs, the crumbling of my castle affects the world.

And I remember when you said you’ve been under him.
I was surprised to feel such pain. I have always tried to calm things down, swallow down, swallow down. It’s just another small thorn in my crown. But suddenly one day, there was just too much blood in my eyes…

Don’t know why I am fine but feel broken inside.

Someone still this hunger, always growing stronger.

Not so early anymore, sex was there when I was 25, addictions of the in & out. A harem of lovers or a cabal of cenobites. Like the tortures of pinhead, straddling the lines of pleasure and pain.

Not so early anymore, sex was there when I was 33, masking the pain of abandonment and insecurity.

Not so early anymore, sex will be there taunting me, enticing me, and silencing my voice. I want to say ‘no’, but the knights of ‘yes’ assist in usurping my will.

Someone still this hunger, always growing stronger.

Lyrics from Beyond the Pale by Pain of Salvation

Product of the projects. Local socio-political urban philosophy.